schplog

From that awesome Jungle Book movie song — now new and improved lyrics

CHORUS
[I wanna be like you-hoo-hoo
Wanna be like you-hoo-hoo]

Wanna skip dessert like you
Wear a skirt like you oo-hoo!

Wanna sparkle like you
Glow in the darkle like you oo hoo!

Wanna do yoga like you
Drink a nice hot mocha like you oo hoo!

Wanna wear a toga like you
Live in Calistoga like you oo hoo!

Wanna be alert like you
Eat yoghurt like you oo hoo!

Wanna go beserk like you
Eat dirt like you oo  hoo!

Shooby dooby doo wah wah wah …

I threw out my back last week, unfortunately, and wasn’t able to make it to my SAT exam. They arranged for me to re-take the test this morning but had to bring in an alternate supervisor who was from Egypt. He took care of giving me the exam and also managed to adjust my back admirably.

You see, he was a Cairo proctor.

“I’ll flatten that shopping center to the ground if it’s the last thing I do,” said Tom malevolently.

“If only I could

Play cards til I vomited,”

Said Tom wistfully.

[This Tom Swifty haiku brought to you by the Schplog.]

This is a verse from a song called “Poor Me!”. It is sung to the tune of “I’m a little teapot, short and stout, tip me over and pour me out”.

I’m more of a lager kind of guy,
But I’ll have the occasional stout.
Hand it over without spilling and . . .
Poor me!

This song is called “Poor Me!” and it is sung to the tune of “I’m a little teapot, short and stout, tip me over and pour me out”.

There’s never been a rule
That I haven’t wanted to flout.
Push me over and I’ll . . .
Poor me.

What ever happened to putting cute little stickers on envelopes with a big ole SWAK … sealed with a kiss? Wasn’t that sweet? Wasn’t that romantic?

You can have your sweetness and romance back if you just use a little imagination. Here are some modern up-to-date options to choose from.

EWAK = emailed with a kiss
FWAK = forwarded with a kiss
FWAXED = faxed with a kiss
AWAK = attached with a kiss
DWAK = deleted with a kiss

Try them all and see which one suits you best!

Consider this a syntax on foolishness, as it were.

Please to play our wordishness game by filling in the blank (____) in the following sentence:

“As it turned out, it was heavily laced with …”

a. cyanide
b. lace
c. sarcasm

Leave your answer in the comments, please, if you please. You play our little game! We are most amused! We hope you are being most amused too!

P.S. This post was written by none other than …. Mr. Moto!

“Why, this fast-working healthy organic liquid tastes just like it was made of trees,” barked Tom.

Which Tom? Tom Swift-tea.

Blogs are old news. All I hear about lately is podcasting and I thoroughly disapprove. i say, I thoroughly disapprove. Moreover, I say, “Let he who is without sin cast the first pod.”

Podcasting? Hmmmph. More like flawed casting.