schplog

Witty smart-ass and schplog favorite Andy Wibbels has us spitting the proverbial milk out the nose with his fabulous rant at smug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug Tim Ferris (known Twunt and author of the 4 Hour Workweek). Good use of his (and our) new favorite word. Although “complete douche-lord twunty asshole” is even better, if a bit over the top. All in a week’s blogging for Mr. Wibbels.

A twunt is, well, for goodness sakes you can figure it out on your own.

A delicious little bit of wordishness. We approve whole-heartedly.
Now we’re just waiting to read latest Ferris book, the Twunty Hour Work Week.

Blogs are old news. All I hear about lately is podcasting and I thoroughly disapprove. i say, I thoroughly disapprove. Moreover, I say, “Let he who is without sin cast the first pod.”

Podcasting? Hmmmph. More like flawed casting.

Grape is so great, you know? They should call it Great Grape. And grape products have been really making a come-back lately. You see grape-flavored toothpaste, and grape preserves and grapes in pasta.

Wherever you look in food news today, it’s all about grape. And not only regular grape stuff, but also all sorts of other grape-related foods like fruit, nuts, and oupon.

Pardon me, do you have any grape oupon?

No but boy do you have some grapenuts.

Ever noticed how the Swedes never award themselves Nobel prizes? If you were unfortunate enough to have been born in Sweden, the chances of you ever getting a Nobel prize are slim indeed, my friend.

That’s right. They can Swedish it out, but they can’t take it.

This just in from Reuters Oddly Enough: doom, doom, doom. As predicted in the bible. They’re killing off the hyphens!

The latest edition of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary has changed cry-baby to crybaby. Oh, the shame of it.

We at the schplog are mystified, horrified and deep-fried. Oh-no, we re-mark pitifully! And woe betide will-o’-the-whisp, cat-o’-nine-tails, tam-o’-shanter and the myriad words of that ilk. Dash-it-all!

Just for that, no posting to-morrow!

Thanks to Reuters Oddly Enough for this little bit of historically-minded fun.

Note that the spokesman for the law — the one making fun of “varmints” — is named Clem. And then see if you can avoid reading the next article about the Russian woman who set her ex-husband’s penis on fire. I mean, ew.

Did you hear that Barbra Streisand is ditching her singing career to become a stand-up comic? Apparently she’s going through a funny phase.

Rhodes scholars are now required to sign a safe-sex form prior to being admitted to the program. The form is a two-page agreement stating a firm commitment to practicing safety in the bedroom and beyond. “It’s a tough time for these scholars and they face a lot of pressure. We just want to make sure they’re staying safe,” said spokeswoman Dawn L. Harris.

In fact, this is where the rubber hits the Rhodes.

La Disparition (The Disappearance), the book written by Georges Perec in 1969 and made famous by virtue of the fact that Perec wrote it without using the letter “e”, is now being offered in an electronic format.

Yes, French peple the world over are horrified and ashamed to hear that the e-less book has been reformatted as an e-book.

It’s baseball season (again) and here’s the latest from the Schplog Sports News center:

According to manager Chip Hale, the Tucson Sidewinders are going to have to change their names to the Tucson Tuscan Two-Tusked Toucans. This because of a lost bet on a botched batted bunt with a battered and broken bat.
“It’s stupid and embarrassing, I know,” he admitted. “I will never bet again. Our team deserves to suffer alliterative humiliation. Heaven knows we’ve earned it.”