schplog

I don’t wish to say

which player will block the ball

said Tom guardedly

I broke a man’s leg

ah, frat parties of my youth

said Tom bashfully

a man of wisdom

must be used to refusals

said Tom knowingly

those goshdarn hippies

stinking up Ashbury street

said Tom Haight-fully

San Francisco slums

now I’ve got you by the loins

said Tom tenderly

old German movies

never really get going

said Tom haltingly

Oh yeah? Is that the way it is? You want to combine categories? Ha! Two can schplog at that game! Behold the art of the vengeful Tom Swifty Haiku!

Beware sharp edges

I hope you can catch my drift

said Tom pointedly

“This pseudo-healthy organic liquid crap tastes like it was made from trees!”

barked Tom

Arrrrghhh!

1. Common ejaculation of distress

2. Acronym used to denote the not-yet-defunct pirate organization — the Association of Ribald Ragged Rag-tag Ravaged Grizzled Hoodwinkers Hell-raisers and Heathens.