New ritual on the schplog: THE ALTAR EGO (get it?)
This week on the altar we worship (naturally with candles and statuary and the like)
The Power of the 54 Minute Restorative Schluf (that’s Mittagspause for you non-Yiddish speakers and Afternoon Nap for the rest of you)
Worship/salute/light a candle/take a nap. How you interact with The Altar Ego is up to you. Next week: William Safire.
Grr, I had something funny to say about yurts, but then I forgot. And anyway there are apparently already a couple of yurt-related schplogs in the queue. God, is that how you spell q? I can’t mind my ps and qs.
Mind yer pa. Not yer Ps and Qs.
That’s funny that you should just write about yurts. I must tell you about the all-time best tagline for a yurt business: “If you are not in a Yurt, you must be Square.”
(I’m not making this up — www.yurts-r-us.com)
Boy, are they clever. We should hire them to schplog for us. Or at the very least to come up with a better tagline for the schplog. How about, “If you are not a flirt, you must not be Baudelaire.”
Whaddya think?
We at the schplog have been getting the world’s biggest (or smallest) kick out of the lolcat craze and related lolcategories.
We peruse kitlers, submitted our Kossack Cat (rejected) to “I can has cheezburger?” and generally are happy to just be alive for this grand epoch of Interwebbery. Did we mention that there are kitler macros now too?
But our new favorite line is “Mah _______, Ah bleev you have it”, based on this delightful little guy.
Be warned. We cannot stop making this joke.
Upon my word, the 200th post!
Thus far we have schplogged (mostly successfully):
emperors (with and without clothes)
foods of various types
tom swifty haikus
Not to mention various other little pun-oriented bitlets.
Ah, the wordishness of it all!
Just as we did with schplog #100, we are determined not to say anything even remotely funny in this historical post. Every hundred or so we give you a break.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Who knew that Jason Kottke was a secret schplogger? Of course neither did he. Wait, of course we knew that. Never mind.
But anyway, guess what I just found over on kottke.org deep in the archives? A brilliant take on Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”!
Read and admire it RIGHT HERE and then come back and add some of your own. Here is my contibution … come on, schploggers!
It’s like 10,000 screams when all you need is a yawn.
What’s the point of a tantrum if it’s soon to be gone?
And isn’t it hystrionic … don’t you think?
It’s like 10,000 smart-ass remarks when all you need is a smirk.
Like thinking you’re funny, but then realizing you’re a jerk.
Isn’t it sardonic … don’t you think?
It’s like 10,000 chefs when all you need is some dude.
Like thinking it’s about culture when it’s really just food.
And isn’t it gastronomic … don’t you think?
A couple of the schploggers were playing boggle last night and it was a completely *obscene* boggle board, so it turned into a game of sloggle. Here were all the words on the board.
orgy
porn
only
torn
blew
hewn
whore/s
horse
prod
gory
lewd
whey
Which knight of the round table wasn’t very keen on offering up personal information?
Survey (survey iz mir. oy.)
Anyway, we asked the Schploggers to fill out some basic get-to-know you questionnaires to help us come up with a better picture of the average schplogger. Unfortunately this was no help. Here are some of the questions and answers from one of the forms — maybe you can get more out of this than we can. Grrrrrrr.
What is your favorite color?
Magenta
What is your favorite name?
Madge
Favorite word?
Ente, German for duck
The word you hate most?
Magenta
Favorite game
Mahjongg
What one thing would you bring with you to a desert island?
My magenta colored sweatpants
Anything about your family history we should know?
Direct descendent of Ferdinand Magellan
Please describe your most embarrassing moment.
Discovering that ma was a gent. Uh ……
Do you have a preferred political system?
Majority rules
Favorite spice?
Marjoram
Favorite spice girl?
Uh …
What is your favorite book?
The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
We at the Schplog are Technorati-ing it up. Just to see. You know, like, if we like this whole blogging platform thing. Or something like that.
Well, the best thing about the Oscars was that Ellen DeGeneres was funny …
but without trying to schtick it down your throat.
