This isn’t actually my rant: I found it on amazon.com and it isn’t even really a rant so much as a mini-rant. Still funny. Or at least one dearly hopes so.
“It seems plausible that only genetic engineering or an enlightened oligarchy can save us”.
Thus spake Rhynchosaur and we at the schplog hope that he was a. kidding or b. fifteen. The schploggers don’t know whether to laugh, cry or dance a jig.
I hate to say it but I’m actually getting riled up over all these virtual “universities” out there that give “accreditation” for studying semi-fake professions. Who would possibly be proud of a diploma from Coach U or Facilitator U or Organize U? How embarrassing.
I mean, if I were going to hire a life coach or a professional organizer I’d want someone who a. knew what he/she was doing and b. had some experience to back it up. The last thing that would impress me would be laugh-out-loud “credentials”. Someone should really do something.
This problem is so U-biquitous.
It has come to my attention (thanks, O for Olaf) that not all the Schploggers know what “LOHAS” is, to which I can only say: if you don’t know what “LOHAS” is yet, feel grateful. Feel very, very grateful.
It will hit your suburban mall soon enough.
LOHAS is a lazy and lousy acronym for “Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability” that describes the self-selecting target market of self-satisfied do-gooder-ey ex-yuppies.
Admittedly it’s a step of from “LOOTE” (”Lifestyles of Obesity and Trashing the Earth”) but it’s a small step.
P.S. What do you call an anti-LOHAS-ian in German?
A Lohasser (get it?)
Just when you thought credit card companies couldn’t possibly get any more despicable … now introducing VISA’s tackiest venture yet: the “enlightenment” card.
Vis a vis pure evil …
You can get your Enlightenment Card with a big ole OM on it to make you think that your corporate lenders want to partner with you to help you make spiritual purchases and come to terms with your abundance issues.
Meeting with Guru: $2,800
Experience of inner truth: priceless
There are some things money can’t buy. Everybody who knows this takes Mastercard.
OMMMMMMMM my god
By the way, should you feel the need to mock VISA personally you can visit their site at www.enlightenmentcard.com and if you want an excellent description of what the card is about and why it should be disdained, avoided and generally abhorred please read Tim Boucher’s wise words on the subject. He gives an apt parody of the way large corporations jump on the “LOHAS” (ew, ew, ew) bandwagon.
#@!* and so on!
One does one’s best to avoid using Paypal (may their name be stamped into oblivion) whenever possible but occasionally one must make a purchase or perhaps even a donation and the person selling or receiving is only taking Paypal.
So one acquiesces. Only to recall that one has switched credit cards in the interim (when is the last time one was reduced to to interacting with the Paypalitocracy?).
