overheard at dinner
Overheard at dinner (but is it true?):
“Cancun is like, way trashier than Acapulco.”
cast of thousands
Blogs are old news. All I hear about lately is podcasting and I thoroughly disapprove. i say, I thoroughly disapprove. Moreover, I say, “Let he who is without sin cast the first pod.”
Podcasting? Hmmmph. More like flawed casting.
sand tassles
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s men’s loafers with tassels.
Penny loafers are pretty bad but it’s the tassels that get me. It’s just not … masculine. And if you wanna go femme, try a hot pink stiletto.
I just dumped a guy for showing up to the opera in tasseled footwear. Thanks to Don McLean for giving me the idea of doing it by way of a friend.
And if he asks you why, you can tell him that I told you
That I’m tired of tassles in the air.
I’ve got a basic sense of taste, decency and style I want the world to share
And tassled shoes just lead me to despair.
Mules of forest green, slippers, brogues and clogs,
They’re not great, but I’ll put up with them without flogs.
I’m asking you to throw out your awful togs.
I’m leaving you and returning to the schplogs.
Save me from all the trouble and the pain.
I know I’m weak, but I can’t face those shoes again.
Tell him the reasons why I can’t explain,
Perhaps he’ll understand if you point to your mary jane.
going crazy at the A&P or the crazy Q
Grr, I had something funny to say about yurts, but then I forgot. And anyway there are apparently already a couple of yurt-related schplogs in the queue. God, is that how you spell q? I can’t mind my ps and qs.
Mind yer pa. Not yer Ps and Qs.
turtleneck vs bottleneck (Yertle the Turtle)
You can build your suburban sprawl til the cows come home.
But I’m going to build my Yurt til the Turtle comes home.
genetically engineered rodents?
“I can has keyboard?” – Li’l Miss Lolmouse
Why would Microsoft be genetically engineering rodents? Why would they even want to be involved in such a nefarious plot? Why? Why? Why?
This just in from Business Week:
Companies such as Logitech International and Microsoft spend millions trying to make mice and keyboards that are more ergonomically friendly.
Italics ours.
That FREAKED US OUT until the proverbial penny dropped, two seconds too late.
Can’t those weirdos at Business Week say “mouse-controls” or perhaps come up with something less redundant but also less creepy?
german fruit football — it’s an obst tackle
I can’t believe you think I shouldn’t try out for the obstacle course team.
You’re hurdling my feelings!
I led zeppelin to the edge
You can lead a zeppelin to water but you cannot make it sink.
You can LED a zeppelin but you cannot make it blink.
You can lead a stairway to heaven but only to the brink.
You can listen to led zeppelin but only at the skating rink.
triskaidekaphobia: say, what gives?
It’s Friday the 13th and all through the house;
not a creature is stirring; not even a black cat chasing a mouse.
Because unless you’re a triskaidekaphobe, you don’t care. Triskaidekaphobia is a superstitious fear that crazy people have of the number 13. A specific fear of Friday the 13th – held by especially loony people – is called paraskavedekatriaphobia or friggatriskaidekaphobia.
The word is made up of a bunch of Greek parts and everyone knows they were mad as hatters.
Tris = “three”, kai = “and”, deka = “ten” (thus thirteen), + phobia, “fear, flight”. There you have it.
Nutty as the ancient Greeks were, though, the word is actually a modern formation, first appearing in 1911 in I.H.Coriat’s Abnormal Psychology. Speaking of wackjobs.
(Read on …)
a majestic pain in the Q&A
Which knight of the round table wasn’t very keen on offering up personal information?
Survey (survey iz mir. oy.)
Anyway, we asked the Schploggers to fill out some basic get-to-know you questionnaires to help us come up with a better picture of the average schplogger. Unfortunately this was no help. Here are some of the questions and answers from one of the forms — maybe you can get more out of this than we can. Grrrrrrr.
What is your favorite color?
Magenta
What is your favorite name?
Madge
Favorite word?
Ente, German for duck
The word you hate most?
Magenta
Favorite game
Mahjongg
What one thing would you bring with you to a desert island?
My magenta colored sweatpants
Anything about your family history we should know?
Direct descendent of Ferdinand Magellan
Please describe your most embarrassing moment.
Discovering that ma was a gent. Uh ……
Do you have a preferred political system?
Majority rules
Favorite spice?
Marjoram
Favorite spice girl?
Uh …
What is your favorite book?
The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
