schplog

Which young lady inspired a U2 song by actually moving in with the band?

Miss Teriousways

(turns out the line “she turns the Tide” refers to the way she had of always getting out of doing the laundry”)

Which disdainful young lady couldn’t stand her man — or any man for that matter — because he wouldn’t allow her to keep her beloved maiden name of Thorpe? ?

Miss Anne Thrope

What a pleasingly polite young lady she was.  Lived across from the country inn, she did. Always demurely casting her eyes down and she had the most pleasant — if shy — manner to her. I can’t think why she was always getting arrested.

That Miss Demeanor . . .

Which young lady was wont to use her feet troubles as an excuse for falling into the arms of unsuspecting young gentlemen and kissing them?

Miss Ill-toe

Which young lady was always coming up with ill-conceived ways to to hide the fact that she was giving birth to bigots?

Miss Begotten

Which troubled young lady, mocked because of her spectacles, was always running off and rafting down the river?

Miss Issippi
(poor girl, you can’t even spell it without all four I’s!)

Which young lady was afflicted with a rare form of nearsighted kleptomania?

Miss Took

Which young lady inevitably made a mess of her modern dance performances?

Miss-Interpretive Dance

Which young damsel was thoroughly stymied by all the odd little things that kept happening to the wisteria vine?

Miss Sterious.

Which young lady fair was inclined to skim the profits of the family business?

Miss Appropriate