schplog

Which knight of the round table discovered quite by chance the delight of soft serve ice cream coated in a chocolate shell?

Sir End Dippity

Which politically-minded knight of the round table was so passionately entrenched in the plight of the Mon ethnic group of Southeast Asia, that he would preach the cause loudly from the hilltops, imploring anyone who would listen to join the other ethnic minorities in Myanmar to take up arms in the fight against the Burmese Government for an independent state?

Sir Mon on the Mount.

Which Italian knight of the round table (known to his friends as “Gus”) was always hacking up phlegm, so much so in fact that he had to be buried in a vault of tissues?

Sir Cough a Gus

Which Irish knight of the round table used to be in charge of the castle gate but got demoted due to malfeasance? That is to say, his funny way of walking caused him to be constantly tripping and stubbing his toe on the gate. Which made him exclaim loudly with pursed lips. Anyway, he got replaced.

Sir O’Gate

Which knight of the round table was a closet dancer with a predilection for Cajun beats, who would only dance at night?

Sir Cadian Rhythms

Which knight of the round table could never be found because it always turned out that he had just run off to wrap up something he had been working on earlier?

Sir Ran Wrap

Which knight of the round table wasn’t very keen on offering up personal information?

Survey (survey iz mir. oy.)

Anyway, we asked the Schploggers to fill out some basic get-to-know you questionnaires to help us come up with a better picture of the average schplogger. Unfortunately this was no help. Here are some of the questions and answers from one of the forms — maybe you can get more out of this than we can. Grrrrrrr.

What is your favorite color?
Magenta

What is your favorite name?
Madge

Favorite word?
Ente, German for duck

The word you hate most?
Magenta

Favorite game
Mahjongg

What one thing would you bring with you to a desert island?
My magenta colored sweatpants

Anything about your family history we should know?
Direct descendent of Ferdinand Magellan

Please describe your most embarrassing moment.
Discovering that ma was a gent. Uh ……

Do you have a preferred political system?
Majority rules

Favorite spice?
Marjoram

Favorite spice girl?
Uh …

What is your favorite book?
The Color Purple, by Alice Walker

Which knight of the round table was invariably so late leading the battle cry that he was regularly asked to pay an extra fee to the collective pot?

Sir Charge

Which knight of the round table was incensed at being asked to serve among his peers at a trial over laws governing complicated medical procedures?

Surgery

What kind of tea has been proven by historians — beyond a shadow of a doubt — to have been consumed by King Arthur and his knights?

Sir-tain-tea

(certainty)