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“If only I could

Play cards til I vomited,”

Said Tom wistfully.

[This Tom Swifty haiku brought to you by the Schplog.]

“The soup is quite bland –
Throw in some croutons, baby”,
said Tom wontonly.

“Singing with my boys;
Now I’ve had about enough”,
Said Tom gleefully.

“It’s a bloody shame;
Poor Oscar is such a grouch,”
Said Tom Wilde-ly.

“I certainly am

ravenous for birds,” quoth Tom

Poe-etically

“I vish you vouldn’t

pee on my nice new vindows,”

said Tom pee-vishly.

“Walden Pond candles;

They annoy me thoreau-ly”,

said Tom wick-edly.

Haiku cuckoo clock

What was Zen is zen, they say

But what about now?

“I was wondering;

Is that the beast within?” said

Tom Hesse-tantly

“I finally read

Finnegan’s Wake again,” said

Tom rejoyceingly.