“Hey, what can you tell me about Sam Peckinpah?”
“Wait — what are you talking about? Are you referring to Sam I.M.?”
“No, you fool! I’m talking about Sam U. L.!”
Confused? Look up celebs on I.M.D.B. (O? U R D B? U N I R D B!)
she has a yentl for change
Barbra Streisand hasn’t been singing much lately. And she certainly hasn’t been acting. Everyone is worried but I say she’s just going through a Funny Phase.
oh. bligingly. you know, mary j bligingly.
“Oh boy, that Mary J can sure sing great,” said Tom obligingly.
barbra streisand: no more stagefright
Did you hear that Barbra Streisand is ditching her singing career to become a stand-up comic? Apparently she’s going through a funny phase.
sod on sod off
My poor neighbor. Ever since his wife left him and his novel was rejected he’s gotten involved in some really bizarre forms of S&M. It got to the point that he actually hired a dominatrix to mock him and throw dirt at his buttocks while reading his erotic writings back to him and, of course, mocking him. She mocks and throws dirt, mocks and throws dirt. It’s crazy.
Now he’s callling himself the Mockee d’Sod. Totally embarassing.
recast in iron
Schplog movie night: as usual a free download from the Internet archive and tasteless virtual popcorn.
We watched The Gorilla (1939). Which you can watch here . . .
Here’s our suggestions for the recast for the 2008 remake of that potentially fabulous film:
Anthony Hopkins as Uncle Werner
Schplog queen Drew Barrymore as the wealthy niece
Ben Stiller as the bride-groom to be
Vince Vaughn and Luke/ Owen Wilson as the three bumbling detectives
John Turturro as the creepy butler.
Lisa Kudrow as the loudmouth maid.
Tony Shalhoub as the slick guy who turns out to be the non-fake gorilla.
Tim Blake Nelson as the owner of the real gorilla
great writers get catty!
“It’s a bloody shame;
Poor Oscar is such a grouch,”
Said Tom Wilde-ly.
royale (blue) with (blue) cheese
Do you want to come over and try out my new favorite aerobics/lifestyle video? It’s got Jane Fonda, purple leotards, Malibu sunsets and it’s called “Wait! Way-cool ways to lose weight with whey!” It’s like, you get to eat as much cheese as you want, as long as it’s melted and you keep moving.
No way! I mean, no whey! No can do! I mean, no fondue! How sleazy is that? I mean, how cheesy is that?
