schplog

The film version of the wonderful novel, A Confederacy of Dunces (a schplog favorite), has already been cast many a time. But all wrong wrong wrong! I know Jim Belushi died before he could embody Ignatius J. Reilly, but Will Ferrell in a fat suit? Good grief. This must not happen. As Ignatius himself would say, “Oh my god, what a lascivious abomination!”

And he would be right.
Here’s how Dunces *should* be cast:
Ignatius J. Reilly — Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Mrs. Reilly — Holly Hunter (or possibly Geena Davis)
Patrolman Mancuso — Steve Buscemi
Lana Lee — Jennifer Dale
Darlene — Lindsey Lohan

For more on the unfortunate attempts to bring Dunces to the big screen, as well as the odd fates of many possible Ignatii, you may peruse Peter Hyman’s lovely article in Slate.

Oh my god! That last post was so much fun that I went ahead and created a whole new schplog category for the sole purpose of schplogging old movies and recasting them for the remake. I know it’s not related to our main thing of punnery and frivolity and such, but oh the fun!

Okay, here goes.

Movie night for the schploggers with another free download from the fabulous Internet archive and tasteless virtual popcorn.We watched Happy Go Lovely (1951). Which you can watch here . . .

Boy oh boy, it was great! David Niven. Sexy Betty & Veronica outfits a la Archie comics. Slightly dorky humor. Dancing. What more do we want from a film?

Here are our suggestions for the recast for the 2008 remake of that potentially fabulous film:

Hugh Grant as B.G. Bruno, the bumbling-but-cute nerd of a millionaire.
Naomi Watts as the super sweet long-legged good girl chorus girl Janet Jones
George Clooney as the leering manager Frosty (Cesar Ramero in the original)
Bob Balaban as Charley the neurotic stage manager
Ewan McGregor as the drunk Scottish reporter
And Schplog queen Drew Barrymore as the girl who keeps tripping over Frosty in the halls.

Still clueless as to who could play Mae, the fast-talking best girlfriend. Any ideas?