schplog

After the Chief Inspector moved out of our guest flat we tried to fill the space but it didn’t work out. In the end we had a Colonel take up residence, in Lieu of the New Tenant.

The tradition of having a colonel around dates from colonial times, you know. There’s a colonel of truth in that, at any rate. We shall get him a popcorn maker for Christmas.

“Hey, what can you tell me about Sam Peckinpah?”

“Wait — what are you talking about? Are you referring to Sam I.M.?”

“No, you fool! I’m talking about Sam U. L.!”

Confused? Look up celebs on I.M.D.B. (O? U R D B? U N I R D B!)

Witty smart-ass and schplog favorite Andy Wibbels has us spitting the proverbial milk out the nose with his fabulous rant at smug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug Tim Ferris (known Twunt and author of the 4 Hour Workweek). Good use of his (and our) new favorite word. Although “complete douche-lord twunty asshole” is even better, if a bit over the top. All in a week’s blogging for Mr. Wibbels.

A twunt is, well, for goodness sakes you can figure it out on your own.

A delicious little bit of wordishness. We approve whole-heartedly.
Now we’re just waiting to read latest Ferris book, the Twunty Hour Work Week.

Oscar was Wilde, but Gene is Wilder
Ma was Rainey, but Rilke was Ranier.

Put a cap on it! Don’t you know … hattery will get you nowhere.

I tried beating a ride out of Flannery O’Connor, but assault and battery will get you nowhere.

I tried offering my extension cord to Flannery O’Connor, but charging a battery will get you nowhere.

I tried hitching a ride with Ms. O’Connor, but Flannery will get you nowhere.

I tried hitching a ride with a lumberjack, but Flannelry will get you nowhere.

Barbra Streisand hasn’t been singing much lately. And she certainly hasn’t been acting. Everyone is worried but I say she’s just going through a Funny Phase.

Overheard at dinner (but is it true?):

“Cancun is like, way trashier than Acapulco.”

From that awesome Jungle Book movie song — now new and improved lyrics

CHORUS
[I wanna be like you-hoo-hoo
Wanna be like you-hoo-hoo]

Wanna skip dessert like you
Wear a skirt like you oo-hoo!

Wanna sparkle like you
Glow in the darkle like you oo hoo!

Wanna do yoga like you
Drink a nice hot mocha like you oo hoo!

Wanna wear a toga like you
Live in Calistoga like you oo hoo!

Wanna be alert like you
Eat yoghurt like you oo hoo!

Wanna go beserk like you
Eat dirt like you oo  hoo!

Shooby dooby doo wah wah wah …