It has come to our Attention that there exists an astonishing Lack in the Field of (Misogynistic) Nursery Rhymes for Modern Youngsters. A Schplogger gives his first modest Attempt:
Skater skater tater hater
Had a wife but couldn’t trade her
He hid her in a tater peel
And there she mocked his buns of steel
Now here’s a word that should be Safired if it hasn’t already: SLACKTIVISM
Meaning … when apathy (and recreational drugs) are stronger than your original desire to be a do-gooder.
Or do I mean Sapphired? No, I guess I don’t.
Safire, verb.
To delve into the historiographical life of a word for the purpose of deducing its various meanings and uses within a socio-economic context, etc. Named for William Safire who does it all the time, almost without meaning to.
“Is it ‘flesh out’ or ‘flush out’? I wish someone would just Safire it already!”
New ritual on the schplog: THE ALTAR EGO (get it?)
This week on the altar we worship (naturally with candles and statuary and the like)
The Power of the 54 Minute Restorative Schluf (that’s Mittagspause for you non-Yiddish speakers and Afternoon Nap for the rest of you)
Worship/salute/light a candle/take a nap. How you interact with The Altar Ego is up to you. Next week: William Safire.
My poor neighbor. Ever since his wife left him and his novel was rejected he’s gotten involved in some really bizarre forms of S&M. It got to the point that he actually hired a dominatrix to mock him and throw dirt at his buttocks while reading his erotic writings back to him and, of course, mocking him. She mocks and throws dirt, mocks and throws dirt. It’s crazy.
Now he’s callling himself the Mockee d’Sod. Totally embarassing.
Rhodes scholars are now required to sign a safe-sex form prior to being admitted to the program. The form is a two-page agreement stating a firm commitment to practicing safety in the bedroom and beyond. “It’s a tough time for these scholars and they face a lot of pressure. We just want to make sure they’re staying safe,” said spokeswoman Dawn L. Harris.
In fact, this is where the rubber hits the Rhodes.
La Disparition (The Disappearance), the book written by Georges Perec in 1969 and made famous by virtue of the fact that Perec wrote it without using the letter “e”, is now being offered in an electronic format.
Yes, French peple the world over are horrified and ashamed to hear that the e-less book has been reformatted as an e-book.
Ha! A few of the schploggers were just making fun of people who overuse the word Harbibol when we found this on Urban Dictionary. Oh how gloriously synchronistic are the ways of the universe, haribol haribol.
It was defined as follows:
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A classical example of overgeneric Hare Krishna jargon. The equivalent of “Hey”, “Hello”, “Have a nice day”, “Good night”,etc. Bears a semblance [sic] to the way the Smurfs use the noun “smurf” and the verb “smurfing”, though not as widely applicable.
Haribol Ma’am, I’d like to sell you a book. No? OK, thanks anyway and haribol! |
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Of course, as the gummi bear people say, “Haribol macht Kinder froh!”
Oh, sorry, that’s HARIBO.
It’s baseball season (again) and here’s the latest from the Schplog Sports News center:
According to manager Chip Hale, the Tucson Sidewinders are going to have to change their names to the Tucson Tuscan Two-Tusked Toucans. This because of a lost bet on a botched batted bunt with a battered and broken bat.
“It’s stupid and embarrassing, I know,” he admitted. “I will never bet again. Our team deserves to suffer alliterative humiliation. Heaven knows we’ve earned it.”
