schplog

What do you call tea that is so special you can only drink it once a year?

Annui-tea

Ah knew a tea once, but she only drank decaf. Said it fit her to a tea.

What kind of tea does one drink on a deserted beach?

Nudi-tea.

“I can has keyboard?” –  Li’l Miss Lolmouse

Why would Microsoft be genetically engineering rodents? Why would they even want to be involved in such a nefarious plot?  Why? Why? Why?

This just in from Business Week:

Companies such as Logitech International and Microsoft spend millions trying to make mice and keyboards that are more ergonomically friendly.

Italics ours.

That FREAKED US OUT until the proverbial penny dropped, two seconds too late.

Can’t those weirdos at Business Week say “mouse-controls” or perhaps come up with something less redundant but also less creepy?

Which Italian knight of the round table (known to his friends as “Gus”) was always hacking up phlegm, so much so in fact that he had to be buried in a vault of tissues?

Sir Cough a Gus

I can’t believe you think I shouldn’t try out for the obstacle course team.

You’re hurdling my feelings!

How hard is it to cook meat on a stick, you ask. Not very. You’ll want meat, of course. And a stick. And some cayenne pepper, maybe some garlic and some homemade tomato sauce to go with it. Just turn up the heat and kebab’s your uncle.

I tried to distill gin in my sink, but it was sloe going.

Recent laws passed in Italy are coming down hard on potters. Members of the local sculptor communities and potter guilds, already low on income, must now pay a significant portion of their income to the Greek government, based on the number of glazed clay pots they sell each year.

Said Florentine potter Roberto DiBenedetto, “Practically everything I urn is Grecian”.

Word on the street is:

Party-hard eggnog molotov cocktails are all the rage this season.

They’re totally eggs-plosive.

“I certainly am

ravenous for birds,” quoth Tom

Poe-etically